Falling

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll is one of my favourite books.  I have always felt such a connection with this story for as long as I can remember, with a particular affinity for Alice herself.  During my darkest, most debilitating lows, I took comfort in seeing in Alice my own loneliness, vulnerabilities and fears in a crazy world she had to navigate through.  She made me feel less alone.  For the longest time Alice falling down the rabbit hole was really significant to me because it was how I saw myself when my mood was plummeting downwards.  Tumbling into a pit of unknown terrors where I am forced to battle with my own mind.

the_darkness_within_fallingb_72

I created this image a few years ago now and that is what it portrayed for me, until quite recently.   I was seeing a councillor, who I got on with quite well and we spoke a great deal about Alice, art, and photography as well as many other things.   One of the things we worked on was changing negative thoughts into positive ones.  I had showed her this image and told her how it made me feel apprehensive and through talking about it and Alice I came to see it in a whole new way.  Alice, who in spite of having just fallen down a rabbit hole, remains hopeful and optimistic.  She did not agonise over the what if’s, but seemed trusting that everything would be ok, “After this, I should think nothing of falling down stairs!” but choose to focus on how that experienced would allow her to think more positive the next time she faces something less challenging.

 

It is my goal to be more like Alice in this regard, because she is a badass!!!

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